Categories
2018 Film

Fifty Shades Freed Movie Review

3/10

“Relax Christian. It’s boobs and boobland.”

Fifty Shades Freed marks the end of yet another ridiculous trilogy that I’ve finished recently (The Purge series being the other). Thankfully, unlike others that have come before it, it’s not pretending to be anything that it’s not, and it does exactly what it’s marketed for: a movie aimed at using the ever original strategy of sex sells. Which it did. Fifty Shades Freed racked up a stupendous $38 million at the box office opening weekend and it’s a fact I’m not even surprised about. My feelings towards the film and the series, in general, haven’t really changed as it’s still the same old erotic drama nonsense that at the very least, makes me laugh.

What I will say about the final chapter that also makes it different to those before it, is the hilarious divergence into a sort of crime/kidnapping thriller. For those only coming to watch the sexy time that’ll happen, don’t fret as you’ll still get bountiful moments like that. What you’ll also receive is a laughable attempt at trying to be something more serious than a “complex” erotic love story and the makings of a thrill-seeking, somehow also car chasing adventure to race against the clock to save a loved one. I’m divulging more details about the plot compared to other reviews because the only aspect I can suggest selling this film for, is to get drunk whilst watching it and laugh at how silly everything gets in this ludicrous story. It feels exactly like the third Hangover movie, where they decided to not reuse the same golden formula from the first two but instead turn it into an adventure heist like film. And we all know how that ended up.

The only other aspect that I mildly enjoyed about the series, was the soundtrack. In my view, Fifty Shades Freed dropped the ball on this outing as I didn’t feel that any of the tracks particularly stood out and they all just kept occurring every 10 minutes. It became ridiculous when the director felt the need to employ a mainstream pop song to transition every scene between settings or to even just continue to throw it over the top of unnecessary montages. If that wasn’t bad enough, I was further bombarded with “erotically” themed songs during the sex scenes which felt stupid to me haha.

At that point, it started to feel like one gigantic music video about a rich billionaire’s life with a wife whom he’s explores bondage with, except it was mostly shit but hilariously bad as well. I also got reminded of the film Suicide Squad which also used a staggering amount of songs in the movie for no real reason aside from selling the soundtrack at the time of its release. Which is an aspect that I’m sure is an intentional marketing ploy used by the Hollywood executives behind Fifty Shades Freed to put forward specific songs from certain artists, just like a radio station that’ll play only mainstream pop hits and Justin Bieber’s “Despacito” on repeat.

But that’s pretty much all I have to say. I don’t really want to give any more attention to a film that is ultimately an easy recommendation to skip and that doesn’t really require anything else to be revealed in terms of what you wouldn’t already expect from the series. I don’t hate the film compared to some of the other terrible films I’ve seen this year and I don’t have any real issues with what it’s all about or is trying to do. It’s a film that uses sex to sell and is just a glorified version of those erotically written romance novels that only housewives go out to read and there’s nothing wrong with that. Aside from the fact that this doesn’t make any of it a great story nor a good film but hey, who cares. It’s Fifty Shades so you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into and perhaps at the very least, you could laugh at all of the ridiculousness that will occur. Skip it if you want to actually watch a decent film but see it for the stupidity if you must.

35 comments

  1. I had almost the same view about this movie. I only watched it because I knew people are going to ask me about this. Honest review. Great job!

  2. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your content seem to be running off the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Cheers

  3. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post. Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

  4. whoah this weblog is great i really like reading your articles. Stay up the great work! You already know, many persons are hunting around for this information, you could aid them greatly.

  5. Aw, this was a very nice post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this moreover – taking time and precise effort to make a very good article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and in no way appear to get one thing done.

  6. Having read this I thought it was very informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this article together. I once again find myself spending way to much time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worth it!

  7. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d most certainly donate to this outstanding blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to brand new updates and will share this blog with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  8. Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  9. I do trust all the ideas you have presented to your post. They are very convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very brief for starters. May you please prolong them a little from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

  10. My brother suggested I would possibly like this website. He was entirely right. This publish truly made my day. You can not believe simply how so much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  11. Attractive section of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing for your augment and even I achievement you get admission to persistently rapidly.

  12. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this blog with my Facebook group. Chat soon!

  13. Sight Care is a visual wellness supplement that is currently available in the market. According to the Sight Care makers, it is efficient and effective in supporting your natural vision

  14. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say fantastic blog!

  15. Whats Taking place i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to give a contribution & aid other customers like its helped me. Good job.

  16. I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content in your case? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome web site!

  17. Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is awesome, great written and include almost all important infos. I would like to look extra posts like this .

  18. I love your writing style truly enjoying this site.

  19. Thank you for another fantastic article. Where else could anyone get that kind of info in such an ideal way of writing? I’ve a presentation next week, and I am on the look for such info.

  20. I’m impressed, I must say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your concept is excellent; the issue is something that not sufficient people are talking intelligently about. I am very pleased that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.

  21. Thanks for any other fantastic article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such an ideal approach of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I am at the search for such information.

  22. I will immediately clutch your rss as I can not find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly permit me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks.

  23. excellent post, very informative. I wonder why the other experts of this sector do not notice this. You must continue your writing. I’m confident, you have a huge readers’ base already!

  24. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  25. Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include almost all important infos. I would like to see more posts like this.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *