Love, Simon Movie Review

5/10

When it comes to pleasing the Politically Correct (PC) crowd, never has there been a more forced example than Greg Berlanti’s Love, Simon.

Set as a coming of age romantic love story, we examine the life of closeted gay teenager Simon Spier (Nick Robinson), as he falls hopelessly for an anonymous classmate that he has met online. Their “relationship” is constrained when Simon is suddenly forced to balance his friends love interests for each other after a person blackmails him and threatens to expose his secret. It’s up to Scooby-doo and the clan to hunt down this mysterious identity before the curtains close on our beloved gay hero.

If you can’t tell; I wasn’t a fan of America’s latest twist on the PC Agenda. And no this isn’t because I hate movies about romance, (She’s The Man is one of my all-time guilty pleasures). It’s more about the fact that this film is constantly tailoring towards such an agenda. When you have a gay Jewish black guy, and the film is already about a closeted teenager, I’m flabbergasted at what the hell is even going on anymore. I mean, this new wave of political correctness is slowly getting out of hand.

But OK. So, I’m not an avid lover of the PC Agenda in this film. What else? That’s just a subjective opinion.

Well, if you can move past all that nonsense, therein lies an enduring love story to watch. The only problem is, you’ll have to continue filtering out all the absolute ridiculousness that happens in the background. There are far too many unrealistic scenarios forced in to make the movie try and be socially adept. This goes from the way the high school itself felt like, from all the interactions with the students. Not to mention; one completely caricatured principal. To the way, certain family members reacted to each other. It all felt entirely off and downright laughable. I kid you not, there is a scene of Simon walking through the hallway and hi-fiving kids that look like they are well below his year. Whilst others around him simply give the thumbs up or a spunky finger point. This…does not…happen.

Apart from predictable plot devices aimed at trying to throw the audience to guess the secret lover’s identity; Love, Simon is a case that leaves me wanting. Why is it so difficult to get something that should be so simple so right? Even from a technical standpoint, Berlanti’s handling of certain shots was nothing better than what the average Brett Ratner can do. I mean, is it necessary to have an overhead shot of the car, as they pick up their morning coffee in the drive-thru? Also, why do you have to cut into almost pointless close-ups of text typed on the laptop screen? Especially, when clearly you show in other scenes, messages being placed upon the air in bubbles that overlay the rest of the image and don’t require cuts. I don’t know why, and I don’t really care.

By this point, I’ve said basically all it is for me to get out my feelings for this film. The more I think about it, the more stupid aspects come to mind and I really need to stop. Wait, is suddenly everyone in the town connected to this online forum called Creek Secrets, which is basically like a terrible version of Gossip girl and when anytime a new update happens, everyone at the same time gets notified exactly-stop. Relax. Breath.

I doubt much of what I’ve said will change anything as I expect Love, Simon will be a sure hit at the cinemas when it comes out. Hopefully, this review lowers your expectations so, in turn, you can have a better time watching it. Because sure enough; I know that many will. Now, where’s my popcorn…